I was talking to a very dear student of mine who always asks about Tala and hows she doing then he asked me a question that made me think. " did you get used to Talas situation by now?"
Did i get used to it? I dont know.. should i get used to it by now and im not putting in the effort? The question hit me..
Then i thought to myself getting used to something stops challenging you.. get used to being happy, you'll take it forgranted.. get used to sickness you'll stop fighting, get used to abuse you'll stop asking for your rights.. there's a huge difference between accepting the pain and giving in to it.. I hear people saying things like " i got used to being alone" if you're happy like that, fine but if you're not then dont force yourself to like it. Accept that youre on a wheel chair but dont get used to the idea that this chair will stop you from doing the things you love.. because the moment you give in, is the moment you let go of your freedom and let your circumstances dictate what you can and can't do..
If i stopped feeling like my heart is being shredded into pieces whenever i think of Talas future maybe i'll stop fighting for a better one for her.. i accept the challenge but i will never allow myself to get used to it.. i will keep reminding self where we were and where we are now because we didn't settle..
There are days when i look in the mirror and i dont see myself anymore.. i dont see the young, fun Rola i know.. every time i went to a doctor visit with Tala i feel like ive aged 10 years.. there are days when i literally feel like im drowning.. i cant breathe.. but now because of this question my beloved student, i thank God with all my heart that he makes me feel this way sometimes cause thats what keeps pushing me to be better.. to take control of my life and be what i want to be..
So dont get used to being sad, or beaten, or sick.. dont get used to being over weight it underweight or being in any shape or form you dont like.. know that feeling bad about your situation means that you still want to fix it.. you did not give up.. but remember always fight with a smile just like tuli:)))
Did i get used to it? I dont know.. should i get used to it by now and im not putting in the effort? The question hit me..
Then i thought to myself getting used to something stops challenging you.. get used to being happy, you'll take it forgranted.. get used to sickness you'll stop fighting, get used to abuse you'll stop asking for your rights.. there's a huge difference between accepting the pain and giving in to it.. I hear people saying things like " i got used to being alone" if you're happy like that, fine but if you're not then dont force yourself to like it. Accept that youre on a wheel chair but dont get used to the idea that this chair will stop you from doing the things you love.. because the moment you give in, is the moment you let go of your freedom and let your circumstances dictate what you can and can't do..
If i stopped feeling like my heart is being shredded into pieces whenever i think of Talas future maybe i'll stop fighting for a better one for her.. i accept the challenge but i will never allow myself to get used to it.. i will keep reminding self where we were and where we are now because we didn't settle..
There are days when i look in the mirror and i dont see myself anymore.. i dont see the young, fun Rola i know.. every time i went to a doctor visit with Tala i feel like ive aged 10 years.. there are days when i literally feel like im drowning.. i cant breathe.. but now because of this question my beloved student, i thank God with all my heart that he makes me feel this way sometimes cause thats what keeps pushing me to be better.. to take control of my life and be what i want to be..
So dont get used to being sad, or beaten, or sick.. dont get used to being over weight it underweight or being in any shape or form you dont like.. know that feeling bad about your situation means that you still want to fix it.. you did not give up.. but remember always fight with a smile just like tuli:)))
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